Is Elder Care the Same for Women and Men?

Mark and Sheila are two elderly individuals who don’t really know one another, but they have similar physical and mental abilities. They are both 79 years old, widowed, and living alone. Their children all live more than an hour away from them, and during the past few years, their health and physical abilities have begun to decline to the point when they can no longer do some of the things that they used to do.

Based on the recommendations of their respective doctors and their own families, they agreed to allow elder care providers to come to their home and offer them assistance throughout certain days. So the question about whether the type and level of care that Mark and Sheila would receive from their respective elderly home care providers is the same becomes an interesting one.

If all things are equal, meaning these two elderly individuals are essentially on the same level as far as their ability to get things done, then wouldn’t it stand to reason that the elder care that they receive would be the same?

The answer is a complicated one. More complicated than it might seem at first. The simple part of the answer is that the care they receive might be the same, but because men and women have different expectations and experiences, then the level of care would likely be different.

Mark was a traditional male growing up in the shadow of World War II. He was raised to work and provide for a family and his wife stayed at home with the children. He didn’t have a lot of experience taking care of his meals, cleaning, or doing any number of household chores. At times, even though he’s been widowed for more than three years, he still has difficulty doing laundry and making a good, homemade meal.

Sheila, on the other hand, was a single mother by the time her oldest child was ten. She didn’t date after that and had no interest in finding someone new. She is strong willed and doesn’t tend to let things stop her, even the arthritis in her hands.

So even though these two people are similar in their health and physical abilities at this time, the care that each of them might receive would probably be different. It’s important when you’re looking into elder care for a loved one that you don’t make assumptions about what kind of care they receive based on someone else you know who received home care for the elderly as well. Each person is different; each story is different. Treat them as such.